Dress Up

My my, it has been a while! After finally finishing and publishing my second novel 'Let Sleeping Gods Lie', I'm back to having more time to blog and you know, basically rant and chat nonsense about life.

Goodness, where to begin? Hmm, I guess I could start with my most recent achievements - no not the book, I'm referring to other personal milestones. As some of you may (but most likely not) know, it was my birthday last week and well, last year both my cousin and I decided we'd finally delve into the unknown and wear a dress. Okay it might not seem like a big deal to you, but I assure you, this is phenomenally HUGE! The last time I wore a dress was 8 years ago and that was because it was my father's funeral and my mother forbade me to stroll in wearing trousers. Alas, my shoppingitis kicked in something wicked and before I knew it, 365 days had passed without my ever once having ventured into a shop for the purpose of 'getting frilly with it'. So this year I decided I'd try again and got off to an amazing start for how I found myself mesmerized by a frock that more than likely hypnotized me with all its decorative circles, but something came over me and I had to have it. No idea if or when I was actually going to wear it, but for some reason, I needed it in my life. No pause for thought, I bought it and my friend who was on the phone with me at the time sounded as if she might choke, for the shock of hearing me cooing over how pretty it was.

I don't know, maybe the cold had frozen a couple of brain cells, but I brought it home and hung it up in my wardrobe only taking it out to sneak a peek at it once in a while. I bought it in winter and fortunately I hadn't totally lost my mind, my allergy to cold superseded my shoppingitis that had gone AWOL, and thus kept me from wearing it out and freezing my tits off.

New year brings change and I guess the additional 12 months on my age insisted that I should do something different, I would wear my dress. Wow. Dare I say, I actually liked it! The maxi dress is just my style. Short #leavenothingtotheimagination is so not my cup of typhoo, but this I could get used to. So much so, that exactly a week later I found myself traipsing around the mall with my sister shopping for more. Oh I think I just saw a pig fly... If that ain't something to write home about, maybe the fact that not one of them are black (my sister is a professional shopper and tyrant who dissed all my first choices), in fact one of them has big blotches of pink something or other on it.

Okay so yes, when I got home I did crawl into my bed and fall straight to sleep for how much it all took out of me, but wait, there's more! Today I got to feeling all slick and pulled out my wedgie sandals that I have only ever worn twice for how they give me vertigo and cause the balls of my feet to scream blue murder. I managed 2 and a half hours of looking elegant without my face getting all medusa oblongata (long and stoney). I didn't even concede and buy a new pair with which to get me home on my feet and not my hands and knees, AND the 2.5 hours were spent SHOPPING! Yes damn it I would stand up and curtsey if I had any feeling below my ankles, cuz I am alllll dat and a bag of Walkers Sensation crisps (thai sweet chilli flavour)!

Tired as a mofo again, but I will say this; although my life has taken a turn into the controversial and my sanity may be slightly in question. In the words of Alex Jones, for those who think I may now have become a danger to the world - I have absolutely have no intention of killing myself! Just getting a lil more brave and in your face is all ;).