Yup it surely has been a while. So here I am dusting off the cyber cobwebs up in this piece. Since November last year, I've had a show on BlogTalkRadio by the name of Nubian Scribes, where I'd basically chat for an hour or so on a range of topics, from sex to publishing. It was tedious and nerve-wracking at first and I was unsure if anyone but family I harassed into being my audience was listening. All the same, I stuck at it for a while on the premise that if nothing else, it was good practice my impromptu speaking that I felt could be improved upon for the sake of my desire to be a motivational speaker. There were times that I hosted the show whilst in pain, others that I simply couldn't do it at all. In time I did generate a stream of regular listeners and it was fun, though very taxing (you'd be surprised just how much talking for one hour straight can take out of you!). I wish I could say I maintained consistency with it, but to be honest, I found it very exhausting, especially as I was in the process of completing my second and third novels at the same time.
Who knew that my time as a self-proclaimed radio show host would bring me in perfect alignment with being presented with the opportunity to do it for real on a proper radio station? Well 11 months later, that's exactly what I am doing. I now host my own 2hr show on BrentYouthRadio.com every Wednesday at 12-2pm under the alias of N9nth Degree. At the time I had only planned to stay for a few weeks, despite having been invited to become a permanent fixture, but what can I say? I'm loving the calling! I'm now spending most of my evenings editing music and developing playlists for my next show. I can't even remember the last time I wrote, but worry not, now that I'm really getting a hang of things, I'm getting back on the ball with the novels ;).
A few of you may know already, but in two weeks my 4th book, 'HYPKNOWLOGY', will go on sale. In response to the demand, the book is basically the trilogy in one volume (the perfect xmas pressie!). The book will include answers to questions I often get, but I'd love to make this more personal to my readers. If there is a question you would like to submit, please feel welcome to post it to my wall, or email them to tosincoker@myspace.com. Also mention your name if you would like for me to refer to the question as coming from you in my book.
Eg.: What inspired you to write the series? - Tosin Coker, London UK
This is YOUR opportunity to have your name immortalised in the book!
...I'm a sci-fi author! Though I am currently working on a non-fiction book on the subject of sickle cell, the only genre I have thus far catered for is science fiction. I state the obvious because for some reason when I introduce myself as an author, people seem to think it means I am available to pen the book they have always wanted to read (or write, but can't be can't be arsed to). No dear, I'm not interested in writing your autobiography, neither am I considering writing about the history of... matter o' fact, did I tell you I write SCIENCE FICTION - you know, pertaining to scientific, futuristic or even speculative possibilities? Where in that did you find history??
I've been approached about writing law, biographies, history, health and I've reached the point where I simply nod and smile on the outside whilst taking a quick snooze on the inside, when people start going into elaborate detail of the topics they would like me to cover or how the plot should play out.
Additionally as entertaining (I say that with as much sarcasm as I can muster), is all these amazing ideas people have for how I should further my career. "Promote yourself at universities, get people to pay this much, make every library in the UK buy your books, send a copy of your book to Obama..." I appreciate your advice, really I do, but if I can't get you oh grand vizier, to buy the book, why should all these people you are recommending me to be interested in making a purchase?
I've been asked during radio interviews whether I felt that African American authors were saturating the market to the extent of lessening the chances of Black British authors. Wow! My response to that is, 'then do better!' If you see our across the pond counterparts as being a threat to you as an author, DO BETTER! Me personally I admire the effort AAs put into their craft. They hustle on a whole different level, that one can only respect. I have learnt so much from US authors that has really shown me how lazy some UK authors are. I had the editor of a magazine tell me that part of what drew her attention to me was my book trailers. She had never seen any by a black author before. Until she made that comment, I hadn't noticed that actually, I hadn't seen that many myself. At the time of the conversation, I could count them on one hand, 3 of them having been created by me.
US authors have on their websites, media kits, trailers, author pictures readily available for journalist who may be interested in writing about them. Only on the sites of US authors have I seen sell sheets, free sample chapters, regularly updated blogs, the list goes on. It didn't cost me anything but an investment of my time to teach myself how to create these things, but once it was done, it was done. I took it a step further by creating an audio trailer to play on my internet radio show and even put my whole media package on a convenient credit card sized cd, where I also stuff two business cards inside the wallet that holds them. I do this so that should I happen to meet someone who could further promote me, I can hand one over. This instantly gives me the upper hand, because of how unique my approach is.
The last time I heard black author complain about how JK Rowling was dominating the market and making it harder for them to gain recognition was er.... NEVER! The last time I heard of a UK black author going on tour in the US.... you guessed it, NEVER! Stop seeing competition where there is none! Do you! Make your work sell by investing in yourself. Investment does not have to be financial.
Here in the UK if you purchase a block of ten ISBN prefixes, you are officially a publisher. It costs about £130, but buying them individually can cost around £30-40. Seeing as I knew my first three books were going to be a trilogy, purchasing the block of ten made better financial sense.
Now that I am a publisher in my own right, approaching Lightning Source, printers to the top publishing houses, meant that I pay less per book and receive a higher quality print than what I get from Lulu.com. I still use Lulu, because the royalties are higher (Lightning Source recommend that you set your wholesale discount at 55% because companies such as Amazon, B&N, WHSmith, wont purchase them at any less). What it would cost for me to print 30 books with Lulu, costs me more than what it costs to print 50 from LS. Plus, money made via Amazon.com and other US sites, is received by them and redirected to be deposited directly into my account. No issues with cheques that cost an arm and a leg to cash.
Personally though, I sell more books offline than I do online. Like many up and coming authors I've spoken to have mentioned, I had a huge issue with promoting myself, but I'm good with a computer and so made sure that my presentation online was impecable. Naturally everything I have done has been on a shoestring budget, but it has been working in my favour to the point that I have become an author coach to others and I run workshops on how to get out there in the most cost effective manner.
First and foremost, if you have a Lulu storefront, spruce it up! To this day I haven't seen anyone who has really utilised the potential of the storefront (take a look at what I mean: http://Lulu.com/n9neformation). It didn't cost me anything to do that. Get yourself a free website on webs.com, it has a site building facility that means you don't have to know about how to code, simply use a template. Get free biz cards from vista print and put the links of your lulu and website on there.
When talking to people, don't go into a conversation saying 'hey I'm an author!' talk about the other person first, then at some point during the conversation a cue might come up for you. At that point casually drop in, 'oh I cover that topic in my book I wrote!' Believe me, the other person will prod you forward from there wanting to know about your title. Hand them a biz card and embelish!
I also made book trailers for my books and put them everywhere I could think to upload video content for free. Where there is a will there is a way and where you have an internet connection, there are free resources EVERYWHERE that are perfect for promoting yourself with, no matter how shy or inexperienced you are with technology.
Google my name and you will see just how many places I have gotten free publicity, all by way of getting adventurous with my computer. You wrote a book! The same skill and imagination it took to do that, is all that is required to get your book out there. Heaven help me, I sound like a sales person (I always wondered how people did that)! Jokes aside though, I can't boast sales of millions, but for the effort I have put in (despite the so call recession), I'm now having to order my fifth batch of fifty print books to meet up with the physical demand. I made my first book available for purchase last year and I know that due to my health, I'm definitely falling short on truly honing in on the full potential to make more sales, I'm only covering less than half of London right about now. There is nothing stopping you from making that next sale. Work it!
By default, you should always know your reader base. Who is most likely to buy your books, who are your target audience etc. I know for a fact that my books are for ages 14+, I thought I knew for a fact they aren't gender specific, though women do tend to like that the hero is female.
The other day whilst featuring as a guest on OmegaFM, the majority of callers were male and the majority of those who have entered into discussions with me about my work have come from male readers. Yet I overheard the proprietor of a bookstore, promoting my books to a distributor as being 'a bestseller with the women'. Interesting!
Before buying my book, a woman will talk long and hard, then promise to get her hands on a copy soon. On the other hand, men say nothing, buy the book, then come tell me later about what they thought. Every man has had wonderful praise and commended me for how accurately I nail certain concepts or the portrayal of the male characters. Overall, my reader base seems evenly distributed across the genders, but women first talk the talk, they want to be enticed, coaxed and made to feel special. Men walk the walk, buy the book and surprise me later by telling me just how much they are into the series. I've sat across tables from men who I had no clue had bought the book, until some how the issue of my being an author is raised.
My assessment of who my readers are, has been correct, but it would seem my advertising efforts have less effect on women who are more likely to purchase the book after having some kind of personal interaction with me. Time to put up a new vlog me thinks!
The passive delivery of seemingly complicated theories and issues in a way that is subtle enough to appeal to the higher self, whilst disarming the egocentric nature of the lower.
The subtle infusion of knowledge and facts through a manner that does not directly infringe on the autonomy of the recipient.
The agreeable subliminal expanding of awareness, that causes one to question and seek the answers to one's own equation.
Hypknowlogy is the title of the compilation of my first trilogy: 'The Mouth of Babes', 'Let Sleeping Gods Lie' and 'Heaven's War: The Gods Awakened'. The idea to put it together in one volume came from my usual teachers, books I've read and readers I have spoken to. I discovered Octavia E. Butler late in life and didn't read any of her books until a year or so after having completed my first novel. I was recommended to her books in the Patternist series by a friend who advised that I would love her writing and that there seemed to be similarities in our stories. The thing is, at the time I started searching for her books, they were not as readily available in the UK. I think there has been a bit of a revival now, because I can find her titles on Amazon.co.uk, back then, they were only listed on the US site.
I finally came across a couple of her books in the library, newly ordered in. 'Kindred' and 'Wild Seed' I believe. The latter was a compilation of the Patternist series all bound in one book and that alone blew my mind! Two years later I had people telling me, 'I wish I could read all your books back to back', 'I'm going to ask my son/daughter/mother/father to buy me your books for xmas'. At the time of hearing the first comment, I was still in the process of editing my final book, so I didn't think much on it. However when I heard the second comment, I thought about xmas sales and the potential that comes with it. What would be more likely? Someone purchasing one book as a gift, or three separate ones? Then of course, I remembered 'Wild Seed' and how I loved being able to read four sequential novels back to back. Well I am my own publisher, so what's to stop me from doing exactly the same with my trilogy? Plus I have to admit I was envious of how Philip Pullman's trilogy had one overall name it was known by; 'His Dark Materials'. I wanted my trilogy to be known overall by one name, the way how was to compile it. Using this method, I could get the best of all worlds and so could potential customers.
One book and one overall name for my trilogy, thatwould only be sold online (unless book retailers chose to pay the cost of printing them up and holding them in stock). Buying each book individually offline at a cost of £36 or all in one online at the cost of £27. You do the math and think up all the other benefits that as a publisher this holds for both myself and my readers. Authors and self-publishers, we gotta start thinking bigger and finding ways to reduce on our outgoing costs. Think smart, work smart.
You have now been introduced to a simple concept that falls under the theory of 'HYPKNOWLOGY'.
HYPKNOWLOGY is due for release on November 6th 2010 and will be available on my site: TosinCoker.comAdvance purchases can also be made on Amazon.
A friend of mine keeps saying, "you wrote 3 books in one year!" and I told him, no I haven't, I wrote my first book at the end of 2007. What he was refering to was how long it took me to write each book. The Mouth of Babes took me 3 months of non-stop day and night writing. The second Let Sleeping Gods Lie, took me about 18months to complete, but mainly because for about 12 of those months I didn't write at all. My life had become busy with moving home, entering into a relationship, having one of my children start high school and working as a computer technician. In total I spent 6 months actually writing, and the rest of my time pretending that I had forgotten I was supposed to be. The times I didn't write I compensated by working on the building up of my brand name and making it so that when my name was keyed into google, I'd come out on top. The final book, Heaven's War: The Gods Awakened, took me 3 months again because I spent about a month dawdling. I'm happy to report that the consensus is that my writing has been evolving and improving with every release, yay!
True enough, in terms of how my friend calculated it, I wrote 3 novels in one year. That's uh, actually kinda cool I guess. All this time I thought I was taking too long! Since having completed my latest book, the question that has been on my mind is, what the hell am I gonna do now that the trilogy is finished? Simple, carry on writing! I'm not sure what yet, but since this long lost passion was re-ignited, all I know is I've gotta let it burn.
This morning I sat on my bed, still wrapped in my towel after having finished up in the bathroom, unable to move or speak. You see, today is the day before the official release of my third book, and I was contemplating how on earth I got here. How did I end up being UK's first black sci-fi author? How did I end up teaching others how to publish and market their book on a budget? How in the world did I write three books!
A few years ago my ambition was to work from home, coding and designing websites. I wanted to become an expert in as many areas of computing as possible. I wanted to make a living in such a way that my health wouldn't ruin my aspirations. I wanted to demonstrate to my children, and myself that where ever there is a will, there is a way and quitting wasn't an option. Not even in the face of the crippling pain they have all too often have to see me endure. I wanted to prove that even when my body failed me, my mind could bridge the gap that would lead me to success. Studing from home in a distance learning course that cost me £5,000 wasn't for me, so I didn't become the qualified Zend Engineer I had planned on becoming, but the company I went with got 5K richer. I didn't become the Linux expert that had been working toward either. Instead I am sat here, on my bed silently thanking my ancestors, my family, my friends and blessing all of those who have given me encouragement, opportunities, and a warm reception as an author.
I haven't become rich from it, in fact I'm currently being threatened with court action for a couple of bills, but in this moment right now, I am so happy because I have tasted success and it is delicious. I am doing what I love! I'm writing and using all my computer skills to enhance on my brand name. Since I started this journey, I've learnt how to manipulate images, create movie clips, set myself up as a radio show host, learnt more about my health and spiritual well-being, created flash websites, become somewhat an expert in the area of publishing, become a motivational speaker.... the list goes on. I'm tired as a mofo most of the time, but it feels so damn good to be a success, not by society's standards, but my own. I am taking pleasure in the simple act of BEing me, and that is priceless.
It hasn't been at all easy, but growning up hardly ever is. The best thing about all of this is I have met some of the coolest people ever, and most of them were in my circle of friends and family already. Through putting myself out there as a writer I have had some of the most beautifully candid dialogues and thus got the chance to really know the family I was blessed to be born into. To all of you I say thank you, I love you.
Aiight enough of the sappiness, back to the scheduled programming, who's taking me for a celebratory dinner? I'll be having a number 46 at Wagamama's on you thanks! Come on, I know you don't expect me to pay now!
So I had this wedding to go to and of course I knew about it way in advance, but I still managed to leave shopping for it til the very last minute. After traipsing from store to store, looking for garments not only for myself, but my short peeps to, I soon got to the stage of exclaiming: "F**k the bloody tie! At least the shirt matches". All in all though, I'm quite chuffed at myself for how long I endured without throwing a tantrum.
However, by the time I got home I did think, actually the shirt looks a bit too causual for a wedding, lemme go try again.
Now I remember having aunts and uncles come to stay from Nigeria who would go to the market and find all these nice dress shirts and coo over the bargain they found, so unable to face Westfields Shopping Mall again, I decided to try my luck. The first shirt I saw, I was all up on it and even got a tie too, cheaper than the casual one I had purchased a couple days before, but I'm allergic to going back for refunds as much as I am to shopping. They are one and the same in my book, but I digress. As I pull out my money to pay, the asian man that who owns the store says, "You've shopped here before, I remember you. You were wearing that waistcoat or something like it then." I smile pleasantly and say no. I only purchased this baby a week or so ago, this is my first time wearing it out, and first time coming to the market in months, but the man insists he's seen me before. Saying about how women like myself don't come to his shop often, his average female customer is heavier than I am and doesn't look as fine. Er, hello? Then he goes on to tell me he what I purchased and sure enough, I did buy black combat trousers and omg, yes they were 28" waist, but wait, that was over a year ago! Dude goes on to say that I look like I work out, for how fit my body looks, I obviously stay clear of Micky D's etc.. Again I smile, marvelling at his customer service and walk away thinking I cannot believe he remembered the size of the combats I bought or even that I purchased them at all! I know I sure didn't.
A day after the fact I'm still marevelling at this man's memory, a few days after the fact and I'm thinking, hold up... Over a year and you remember what I bought and the size too? My inner cynic has kicked in and my mind is wondering, was that good customer service, a come on or downright creepy? Hmm, maybe all of the above! Note to self, wander down the right hand side of the market next time.
...since I had a good old rant! Maybe because I haven't got much to rant about, but I'm sure I'll find something by the end of this post. :)
I was in hospital for a short minute, went in last Thursday and came out on Sunday. I would say that it was phenomenally torturous - well, the pain was, but the stay wasn't. Either I'm becoming more docile with age or the bag I pre-packed, truly worked wonders. If I was one for regrets I'd be kicking myself for not committing to this simple practice sooner. Years back I thought it would be common sense to have a bag ready packed for such times as when a hospital level, sickle cell crisis struck me, but a part of me felt as if to do so would be to welcome pain in my life. I recently convinced myself otherwise, by deciding that I wasn't preparing for a hospital stay, rather a spontaneous weekend away... It hasn't happened yet, but I live in hope!
So in my bag I had everything from my psp with films loaded on it, to books a shower cap and a spare set of house keys. The whole admission process was hell as usual, I lay screaming in agony in A&E for five hours until the morphine finally knocked me out. That's all it was good for, because it sure didn't take away the pain. I spent most of the time sleeping off every next dose needed to quiet my hollering, in between which I took my Mariandina suppliments. For real, I'm always singing its praises, but this was the first time I had taken them to hospital with me. Despite not being prescribed laxatives for the inevitable side effect of constipation that morphine brings, I didn't experience any at all. No bloatedness, no itching, nothing! Needless to say I was in such a good mood (the little time I was awake), and to top it off, I had gadgets at hand and free wifi. I come home and my mother insists on having my short peeps for a week so I'm just like wow... nothing to rant about! And you know what, it feels good!
But watch out for the next post dammit, I'll have something to whine about for sure!
In my recent post I wrote about my selling exclusive copies of my book that includes a hand written, signed personal message. So how did I do it? Well first of all I was inspired by a virtual book tour I viewed on youtube a few months ago, where the author (can't remember who now) said the only downside to conducting such a tour is that customers couldn't purchase a signed copy. That didn't work for me. I say where there is a will, there is a way and I believed that in this day and time, with the technology we have at our disposal, I would find it. And find it I did, and best thing about it, is that it is very cheap to implement by simply using a pc graphics tablet. I purchased one for £16/$23 on Amazon and got to work on practicing writing with it. It took a bit of getting used to, but finally I was able to write out the uppercase and lowercase alphabet as well as my signature into a font creator template that I downloaded from yourfonts.com. It cost $9.95 to have the site generate my copyrighted personalized font in my own hand writing, which I then installed to the fonts directory in my computer.
Hardest part over, I opened my image editor (I use GIMP) and wrote out my personal message with my newly created copyright font and saved it as a jpg image. It was now possible to insert the image of my message into the document of my manuscript and save it as a pdf which I uploaded to my Lulu account. Voila! I effectively created a unique selling point, a huge incentive for people wanting a copy of my book to purchase through my Lulu store. Of course this is better for me as an independent author, as it pays higher royalties than Amazon and all the other online book retailers out there.
This can also be used as a method of creating custom messages on your ebooks for your customers at no addition cost (aside from your initial investment).
Yup, that there is a sample of my messy handwriting all right!
This wasn't a tutorial so much as it was about putting the idea of the possibilities this has out there. If you have any questions, post a comment and I'll do my best to answer. ;)
Yup yup! Necessity is the mother of invention, well ya girl is the mother of practical application. Those of you who know me personally can attest to the fact that when I decide I want to get something done, I will be sure to find a way to do it for free or minimal cost. This mindset was what made it possible for me to publish my books on close to zero budget, but that's another story. From websites to book trailers, I designed and created mine myself. The effort required has been extremely intense, as much of what was involved required me to learn new software, how to create images from scratch etc., but being that I have a reputation for being a geek, that was all perversely fun for me anyways.
So what has that got to do with signed copies of my book? Well because of how much I do, I needed a way that people could purchase pre-signed copies of my book via my shop on LULU.com So of course, I figured out a way to include a personally hand written message on the original file! Yup, now every copy purchased through my bookstore will include a signed personal message. So let me break this down for you:
Through my official bookstore, you can purchase exclusive copies of 'Let Sleeping Gods Lie' that includes a digitally embedded, signed personal message written by my hand, on sale for less than the RRP. These signed copies cannot be purchased anywhere else that sells my books!!
The moment I responded to a comment about one of my book trailers, I knew I had to follow through and write about how to create your own. So I'm going to put it down recipe style and start with the things you need to make it happen.
Tools: Movie editing software (Windows Movie Maker WMM, Wax, imovie [I think that's what the Apple version is called]). I list these options, because they are free, easy to use and with a little creativity can give good results. A picture of your book cover You may want to include a picture of yourself if you like. The blurb from the back of your book Royalty free images and music Time patience and practice!
I'm just going to imagine that some of us are clueless about computers here and explain the process using WMM. Go to Start > Programs > WMM.
When the program opens you will see at the bottom of the window, a Timeline. At the upper right, a screen. At the upper left a Task panel and in the center, a section where you will be see your images/music that you will be working with. This middle pane can also show the different options offered in Effects/Transitions found under the Edit section of the Task panel.
I would recommend that you start off with playing around with the options so as to get a general idea of what everything does. From the Import section of the Task panel, click on pictures, find the ones you want to use. When you have made your choice (press and hold the Ctrl key to select more than one at a time), they will become visible on your center panel, same for any other media you import. Bear in mind if you are going to use a film clip (say of yourself speaking about your book), WMM only caters for wmv and avi formats. Any other formats will have to be converted. I use the free version of Any Video Converter to do this (Google it).
Click and drag your pictures onto the Timeline, do the same with your audio/music files. You might want to juggle them around a bit, make the duration of a particular picture longer than another, trim down the music etc. Try right-clicking on your files in the Timeline to see other options, like fade in/out. Click on an image that you have dragged into the timeline and select Effects from the Edit section. Have a go at applying each one and seeing how it works, and which is best for to highlight on the story you are trying to tell with that image. Do the same with Transitions.
Like anything it might take a little practice to get things the way you want it, but simple works best. Also bear in mind that a good trailer lasts about 60-90 seconds. You don't want your audience to zone out before you get your message across. Think of the way tv commercials work.
Things to consider:
Copyright. You don't want to shoot yourself in the foot before you even get anywhere. Using a track from 50cent or any other artist without prior (written) permission will get you in trouble.
Use royalty free music and pictures. Images can be found for free using advanced search options on Google. Being that my genre is predominantly sci-fi, bear in mind many of NASA's image stock are under creative commons license (free to use), but do cross check to make absolutely sure.
Most of my images are my own personal photos that I took myself. Even if you don't have much to work with, the fonts used can make your trailer eye catching. Notice in the book trailer for my second novel (Let Sleeping Gods Lie), at times I have used capitals to give the sentence a different visual appeal and break the monotony of it.
I get royalty free music from a site called Incompetech - http://incompetech.com/m/c/royalty-free
You are invited to make a donation, but if nothing else the owner of the music Kevin Macleod, appreciates if you give his name a mention or add a link back to his site.
For sounds, like the shots heard at the end of my most LSGL trailer, I go to soungle.com they have hundreds on offer, all free to use.
Its a good idea to watch as many trailers as you can, both for books and movies. Learn from other peoples mistakes, how would you improve on my trailer for example? Too long, okay make yours shorter and snappier. Boring music? Choose something lively, but be sure it compliments your story line.
When choosing music, I try to keep it neutral, I love RnB, but I don't use it on my main trailer. If I really think something fits, I might do a second trailer so it appeals more to the market of readers who would benefit from knowing my book has a soulful vibe to it.
My my, it has been a while! After finally finishing and publishing my second novel 'Let Sleeping Gods Lie', I'm back to having more time to blog and you know, basically rant and chat nonsense about life.
Goodness, where to begin? Hmm, I guess I could start with my most recent achievements - no not the book, I'm referring to other personal milestones. As some of you may (but most likely not) know, it was my birthday last week and well, last year both my cousin and I decided we'd finally delve into the unknown and wear a dress. Okay it might not seem like a big deal to you, but I assure you, this is phenomenally HUGE! The last time I wore a dress was 8 years ago and that was because it was my father's funeral and my mother forbade me to stroll in wearing trousers. Alas, my shoppingitis kicked in something wicked and before I knew it, 365 days had passed without my ever once having ventured into a shop for the purpose of 'getting frilly with it'. So this year I decided I'd try again and got off to an amazing start for how I found myself mesmerized by a frock that more than likely hypnotized me with all its decorative circles, but something came over me and I had to have it. No idea if or when I was actually going to wear it, but for some reason, I needed it in my life. No pause for thought, I bought it and my friend who was on the phone with me at the time sounded as if she might choke, for the shock of hearing me cooing over how pretty it was.
I don't know, maybe the cold had frozen a couple of brain cells, but I brought it home and hung it up in my wardrobe only taking it out to sneak a peek at it once in a while. I bought it in winter and fortunately I hadn't totally lost my mind, my allergy to cold superseded my shoppingitis that had gone AWOL, and thus kept me from wearing it out and freezing my tits off.
New year brings change and I guess the additional 12 months on my age insisted that I should do something different, I would wear my dress. Wow. Dare I say, I actually liked it! The maxi dress is just my style. Short #leavenothingtotheimagination is so not my cup of typhoo, but this I could get used to. So much so, that exactly a week later I found myself traipsing around the mall with my sister shopping for more. Oh I think I just saw a pig fly... If that ain't something to write home about, maybe the fact that not one of them are black (my sister is a professional shopper and tyrant who dissed all my first choices), in fact one of them has big blotches of pink something or other on it.
Okay so yes, when I got home I did crawl into my bed and fall straight to sleep for how much it all took out of me, but wait, there's more! Today I got to feeling all slick and pulled out my wedgie sandals that I have only ever worn twice for how they give me vertigo and cause the balls of my feet to scream blue murder. I managed 2 and a half hours of looking elegant without my face getting all medusa oblongata (long and stoney). I didn't even concede and buy a new pair with which to get me home on my feet and not my hands and knees, AND the 2.5 hours were spent SHOPPING! Yes damn it I would stand up and curtsey if I had any feeling below my ankles, cuz I am alllll dat and a bag of Walkers Sensation crisps (thai sweet chilli flavour)!
Tired as a mofo again, but I will say this; although my life has taken a turn into the controversial and my sanity may be slightly in question. In the words of Alex Jones, for those who think I may now have become a danger to the world - I have absolutely have no intention of killing myself! Just getting a lil more brave and in your face is all ;).
Yeah, yeah, I know it's been a while since I last posted. Worse still my motivation for posting now, is once again the need to vent, whilst showing just how over the hill I am for good measure. Two words: 'texting' and 'tweeting'! I believe the both of them cause my blood pressure to rise. I'm always talking about how I'm allergic to texting and initially it was because back in the day there was no autosave facility on phones, and too often as I fiddled to respond to someone's text, I would accidently press cancel, and the sentence that had taken me about 10 laborious minutes to construct, would have me wanting to throw the damn phone across the room. Multiply above scenario by 100 and my response would be to just call and give my answer or ignore the text altogether.
Times have changed now though, and some merciful genius has since seen fit to make the text autosave to drafts, and ironically my phone package comes with unlimited text allowance. For love nor money I still can't work with it and a major reason is the limit on characters per sms message. See, I like to write words out in full, but to get my point across in so few characters is torture. I've finally backed down and substituted words like 'see', 'to/too/two' and 'before' with 'c', '2' and 'b4'. It stung so hard a lump would form in my throat as I made the compromise, but I got with the program ya know? Now however I question my sanity when I look at a selection of text like this:
"Going tru ur profile, seing what is in der. U should no dat it is not all dat hav dream dat know how to go about it.but what ever d person knows how to do best dat dont affect others nagetivly is d best way to acomplish his dream (learn to understand urself) thanks n dont learn to picture other's destiny 4rm others way of life. We ar all created 4 diffrent reason, diffrent way n diffrent background. U ar not me n am not others am myself."
I swear, this almost reduced me to tears of frustration. This wasn't a response, just something that was voluntarily posted to one of my online profiles, so I couldn't even rely on common sense to assist in deciphering what was written by refering to a previous comment that inspired it. It took me about 10 mins to somewhat comprehend what was being said. Was it texted to me? No, this was typed! I felt like I had to drop my IQ by 100, read, re-read, then read again. Walk away from the pc, then come back to repeat the process. AND I'M STILL FRICKING CONFUSED!!! I blame texting for this! It seems to be the norm to abbreviate every other word, to the point where I feel as if I have to cross my eyes and say a prayer before attempting to read many of today's less formal digital communications. Worst of all, because it is the norm, I'm the one left feeling stupid for not overstanding, because by today's standards, I'm obviously the illiterate one.
My latest pet peeve is when substituted words contain the same number of characters as the original eg; iz=is, nasti=nasty, funni=funny. So obviously the point is no longer to fit more words, but to have me blow a fricking gasket.
What irks me even more is when someone texts me something that has me having to read it more than 3 times to make head or tail of it, and before I've finished decrypting the message, they've sent me another text asking why I'm ignoring them. WTF?? Speaking of WTF, another brain disturbance is when I respond using chat acronyms and they reply with 'iono, wot duz OMG mean?'
*Sigh* Sweetie, it means the end of our conversation...
I am so bored and uninspired it's not even funny. I seriously do not know what to do with myself. My mother used to say, 'If you are bored, it's because you are boring, create your own fun'. Hmm, I guess I should say I'm boring then. Last night I literaly sat looking around, wondering what I could do. My house is eviously tidy (aside from my bed, but until I have a permanent bed mate, that's never going to change), I painted my toenails, fed, watered and put the short peeps to bed... ugh now what to do? Its not like I don't have things that need doing, its just those things were not appealing to me at the time. Yes I have a novel to finish, I could have done some laundry, or pretended to clear my bed, I could edit a movie clip (or film a new one), but I so could not be arsed. If the phone rang one more time I swear I was gonna pull it out the plug and switch of the ones that don't require one to work. I love my peeps, but conversation is getting boring now too.
What I mean to say is, I'm tired of the monotony, its enough to drive anyone insane. Day in, day out, life is beginning to feel like ground hog day. Same ole, same ole with slight variations, but not enough to break the cycle.
A few things have changed. I've started African dancing again, I do some every morning now, to get my day off to a vibrant start and I've been guided to do some research into the Yoruba orisha. As fascinating as it is, the numerous contradictions are disturbing my brain to no end.
You know what? I think at a time like this, maybe writing my book is exactly what I need to do. Create a new twist to the plot or a new specie that I can become engrossed in. Yup, I'm gone!
I have soooo fallen back with my writing and the challenges I undertook. But what I have been doing is getting a little bit more active and stepping out of the house more frequently. However each time I step out I come back thoroughly exhausted and sometimes in more pain than before having gone out for the day. Even so I'm just happy for getting a little bit more back to me.
On my last post I mentioned that I was planning to treat myself to something cool. Well I didn't report it on time because I changed my mind for a minute when I was told that a new feature would be added within the next week or so. I tried waiting for this to be implemented, but couldn't take it and decided to go for it anyways.
My indulgence was a 45min session on a flight simulator where I piloted a Boeing 737. This was important to me because as a child from as young as 5 years old, I wanted to be pilot (well actually an astronaut, but I didn't share that desire for fear of ridicule), but was told it would be impossible because of my health. The next best thing for me was to become an air traffic controller, but was told that was also an impossibility. Years later, I became an computer trainer, then eventually an author. A far cry from my original dream, right?
On one of my errand runs, I came across a storefront offering flight simulations and though I initially walked straight past, my soul did a double take and next thing I know I was having a chin-wag with a pilot about the possibility of pursuing the path to earning myself a pilot license. During our conversation we discussed how realistic the simulator is to being in a real cockpit, and truth be told, I was already sold, but then the pilot (real pilots work there), shared with me that they would soon be installing a camera so that the session could be recorded as a momento that could be taken home after the experience. So last week I went in to check if the camera had arrived, but even though it hadn't, I couldn't wait any longer, I just wanted to jump on into that seat!
Yesterday I 'flew and landed' on the runways of London Heathrow Airport, Georgia's Hartsfield Airport and Montego Bay. Woooooooo!!!! IT WAS THE BEST FEELING EVER!!! Yes it was expensive, but to me so damn worth it. It was like living a lifelong dream. No don't get me wrong all them switches, buttons and screens were a little overwhelming, but so much fun. Give me a minute to get a little more money together and I will be there again in a heartbeat, because it is amazing just how realistic it all was. As I was descending and approaching Hartsfield, I actually felt my stomach flutter and ears pop and I wasn't even in a real plane, but my brain made it real enough for my body to respond accordingly.
I'm saying people, no matter what it is you've always wanted to do and was told you couldn't, even if it is due to ill health, financial circumstance, the first thing you can do to make it happen is acknowledge the widening horizon of opportunities around you. Yesterday I didn't fly a real plane, but I set something in motion for myself and most importantly I let go of a regret and proved to myself that actually my becoming a pilot isn't impossible. I might not find myself becoming a commercial pilot, but the health restrictions on a private license aren't as demanding and may indeed allow me to seriously pursue that dream.
Wow, I am off to a ridiculously late start today after my sleepless night. I don't know what the hell happened, but after falling asleep at around 9pm and waking up an hour or so later, that was it for me. I guess I really am back to me huh? My mind raced constantly with all the things I planned to do today and the rest of this week that I could barely keep still. In such a situation I grab my notebook and start one of my infamous lists, but this time I really tried to keep my head on the pillow and not start zipping around the house as I usually would. I even tried watching some anime from my laptop... technically I wouldn't have to take my head off the pillow for that. I was no good, before I knew it I was downloading some image merging software and watermarking pictures I had been meaning to do ages ago. Then I sent off a couple of emails, did some ab crunches, more skipping, watched a couple more episodes of One Piece, and next thing I know it was 5am. Noooooooo!
Fortunately the day is still young and I have time to catch up on myself, so here I am posting an entry as part of my 500 words for the day, before an excuse arises for me not to be able to submit a lil something. Next stop get a few skipping reps done and get my arse out for a walk.
Ooh and this week I'm going to treat myself to something super cool! I'm not going to speak of it now, but I will write about it before the week's end. There, I've said it, now I gotta do it. I will finish my 500 words in my Facebook as a part of another writing challenge I accepted yesterday (post a note everyday of February). Have a good one peaceples!
Its a Monday, usually a drag for some, but today has been the best I have felt for some time. I'm in such a wonderful mood its almost silly. Its not that anything special has happened per se, but I feel so hopeful and as a result, I'm smiling from within.
I used to take a meditation walk first thing every morning and it was such a wonderful start to the day, but due to the downturn of my health I slowly ceased to get out there. I have been wanting to get back to it for sometime, but with all the crazy dizzy spells and the gasping for breath just to get down the stairs in my house, I was yet to venture out again on a regular basis. Anyways, I had decided that this year was going to be different from '09. I mean, don't get me wrong, last year was totally amazing for me in terms of personal achievements, but health wise, I was a mess with a total of four stays in hospital for sickle cell crisis so severe, I simply couldn't manage them at home on my own.
Off to a late start, I was still determined to slowly build myself up and out of the house, better yet, get back to the point where I was before; wearing weights everywhere I went, even after my meditation walk and a session of skipping. First of all though, I needed to be able to get up and down them damn stairs without hyperventilating and aching all over. Well, I semi-started last week, with the walking I mean, and pushing past the pain and dizziness, I felt very good for it. Though by the time I got home, I was good for nothing and would have to take a nap. Even so, I made an effort to go up and down the stairs at least five times a day.
Yesterday I decided to try out my jump rope again. I didn't have any high expectations and only aimed for a count of 15, but my hope was to do repetitions of the same amount a few times a day. I only managed to do two sets, but again I felt good. Today is a new day and with it came a new zeal. I wanted to do better and so far I have. Thus far I have raised my count to 40, I've done 5 reps AND gone out for a long walk, climbed stairs! No significant pain, in fact I'm eager to do more. Finally, I am getting back to ME!
If that ain't something to be happy about I'll take it a step further. I was doing some research about something I have been craving a lot of as of late, just to make sure too much of it wasn't bad for me and, it turns out that it naturally inhibits pain, hmmm. So I've been putting it to the test and so far, I have no complaints, in fact I'm in awe (I will be doing a radio show about it soon enough), but that's not what I was getting at. On one of the pages I sought information from, there was a link to a 1000 word a day challenge for writers. Just what I needed right now! So I followed it and for those who feel they may fall short of 1000, there is the 500 or 250 option. NaNoWriMo was a wonderful incentive for me to write and though I didn't complete the challenge (50,000 words in 30 days), I achieved so much! Some of my best writing was born out of it (even though I lost it all), but I'm so pumped. I'm not going to overwhelm myself, I'm going to go for the 500 option and maybe later try for 1000. So I am committing myself to writing toward my novel everyday, and if I'm not in the mood for it, you'll find the contribution for said day here.
So I've finally admitted that I lost the two sequels to my book. Hmm now what? Well since then I have been acting like all is well, uploading movie clips and until last week, health permitting, I have kept up with the Nubian Scribes radio show as usual, but my heart hasn't been in it. I've been going through the motions, trying to carry on in the same manner I would advise anyone else in my situation to do. "Come on girl, you're not trying to tell me a lil pain is gonna stop you?", "I know you've lost a lot, but the books were more than just the words you wrote. Take your time and start again, it may even be better this time", "Heartbreak, ya frickin' sissy get the hell over it, no man is worth this many tears".
If you find yourself in a car crashed you are advised to not shy away from being behind the wheel, on the contrary, its best to jump right back into the drivers seat asap. Yup, I know the theory and based on that principle, I have tried hard to follow through with the practical. I've opened my manuscripts and written a couple of chapters, but writing to my book feels like an uphill climb. The next best thing is to write no matter what, even if it isn't words that contribute to my books, hence the attention I'm giving to my blog as of late. Last week I set myelf a few tasks as a way of jump-starting myself back into action and I'm happy to say I have made some progress for it. By the end of the week, my world fell to pieces once again and I felt like I was back to square one.
I got good peeps around me and they have been strong with words of encouragement, but there comes a time when I don't want to hear my own bullshit, so I stop talking about it. If I'm not strong enough sound like I'm not in pain, then next best thing is to not talk at all, hence the cancelling of the radio show. I didn't have the stamina to fake the funk for a straight hour. I've been faking for long enough as it is, and while it seems it would have gotten easier, it actually hasn't. I don't want to discuss the thousand differnt ways this is going to make me a better person, I already know this. I don't want to consider how many ways I can back up my work and prevent this from happening in the future, I've been a certified computer technician for 10+ years and an IT Tutor for 7. I don't need to hear how he's an ass and I'm worth so much more, come on, how many times have I consoled you through similar? It's partly because of all of the above that this is so maddening, because I KNOW THIS, and hearing myself talk nonsense is enough to make me wanna step outside myself so I can get better leverage to furnish my person a bitch slap.
Pick your gotdayum ass up and stop acting like a fricking wuss! I'm more or less used to my body being unruly, going off and surrendering to pain every once in a while, but when at the same time, my mind sees logic and fails to act on it, it's like I've entered my own personal Twilight Zone. I'm becoming a FB addict for heaven's sake, can it get any worse??? LOL Okay all is not lost, I still have my smile.
So here's the plan - Mourning is over, including the faking of the funk:
Being of the few who know the nutritional benefits of sci-fi, I intend to OD on it for the next couple of days, as well as get back to doing my meditation walks.
I need to get this 'fro braided already, so I can get to focusing on other stuff, such as my weekend away where massages are plentiful and room service is standard. I've written some notes for my books, I intend to follow through with another chapter (I wrote one already this week).
Geez, why am I here babbling, I got shit I need to do!
Maybe this past month I've been in denial. Despite my desire to remain optimistic, I guess the time has come to face facts - it's time to start over, and it sucks big time!
In the first week of last month, I had a crisis so severe, I couldn't even entertain the possibility of not being admitted to hospital. I'm talking pain that was more like random electrical discharges that surged through my body if I tried to instruct it to do the smallest thing. When people have asked me what being in a crisis feels like, I usually say it is similar to the pain of being in labour. You know that point when the mother-to-be screams like a wretched beast: "I don't care what you have to do, just get it the hell outta me! Give me the fucking knife I'll do it my damn self..." Or maybe that was just me? I don't know, but that kind of pain is what it usually feels like. However, this time the pain felt like when you have an exposed nerve in your tooth and just taking in a sip of air feels like torture. That is the best way I can describe what I went through that day.
I came out of hospital two days later, but the recovery time took two weeks. I could barely walk and as such, was stuck upstairs in my room for the duration. By the end of the two weeks I had some how caught this crazy ass flu that made me feel like I was dying all over again. By the end of that I was adamant - I needed to get out of the house. Though it was cold as hell outside, my children had lost their hats, and the mother in me felt bad enough for not being able to cook etc. but allow them to suffer in the cold? That was more than I could handle, so I went out. For most of my journey I was on the phone to a friend via my handsfree, popping in from one shop to another, searching for the kind of hat that had ear flaps (don't know what they are called) before finally buying some minimal preparation food that I could serve up to my short peeps that evening. My outing had been painfully strenuous, but I was just happy that my short peeps head's would be protected from the harsh elements of the season.
Since being stuck in bed, I would allow my youngin's to pile in with me and watch a movie on my notebook, and that evening as we chilled together, I got a text come through on my phone. My eyes widened in horror as I picked it up. My alarm wasn't due to the contents of the text, I hadn't even got to acknowledging that yet, it was the absence of my usb key that usually dangled from it, that threw me. I took a deep breath and got out of bed and started searching for any place it may have dropped. The cord that joined it to my phone wasn't damaged at all, so how on earth did it come off?
After ransacking the house, and remembering clearly that it was still attatched to my phone before I set out, it could only be that I lost it whilst gallavanting in search of head-gear. This was serious, I was in pain again, but I had no choice. I absolutely had to go out and look for it. I tucked my children in bed, promising them to be back shortly, grabbed my torch and opened the front door.
You have got to be fucking kidding me! Of all the worst times, outside was covered in snow that before opening the door, I had been oblivious to. Where the hell did all this come from, I was out there bearly 3 hours prior, there was no signs of snow back then. But even the mini blizzard wasn't enough to stop me, I needed that usb back. I retraced my steps for over 2 hours, leaving descriptions and contact details with every store I had visited that was still open, before finally coming home empty-handed.
I always tell everyone about backing up their data and though I was gutted, at least I still had that much... Or so I thought. My last back up only had one paragraph of the 15 or so chapters of the last book in my trilogy. I had not only lost book 2, but book 3 and all the notes also. The only saving grace is that I had more recently backed up book 2 in the form of sending a friend the first 17 chapters to give me her thoughts on. Even so, since then I had written another 5 chapters or more.
I refused to believe I had really lost so much and so carelessly, that I dared not tell more than 4 of my real close peeps and even then each time I heard myself recount the story, I felt like a part of me died. Speaking of it was like admitting I wasn't ever going to find it again. I preferred instead to hope it would turn up, perhaps I would get a phone call with good news. A month later however, I finally have to take a reality check: It's gone, 20 or so chapters of my soul's passion, gone. It's not coming back. It really isn't coming back.
I haven't been able to write the sequels over again with the same drive ever since. Couple that with tending to a body riddled with pain and a recent heartbreak, and you've pretty much got a sister who despite the front, has totally lost her mojo. Maybe I'm being a little over dramatic, but it feels like I'm suffering a bereavement of sorts, though I honestly don't know which pain hurts most.
Needless to say, it may be a little while longer before book 2 gets published if at all.
As a woman who has natural hair, there are times that I like to wear it in the style of an afro. This happens to be one of my favourite ways of styling it, but unfortunately I don't do it that often, mainly because the weather in London is so miserable, and for some reason seems to attract rain even when not forecasted. I don't know, i seem to have the same problem when I wear all white too, but I digress. The thing that some fail to realize, is that to many of us who are naturals, our hair is not just a statement, regarded it is a divine soul connection. Our hair performs as an antenna, amplifiying varying forms of energy, including light and soundwaves. It is statement of consciousness that goes beyond the physical. My hair to me is the manifestation of my spirituality. Sure it's not the same for all of those who wear their hair natural, perhaps for many it is a cultural statement, or simply a preferred alternative to chemical processing - who knows, I'm sure the reasons are as vast as the styles we can adorn.
For me my hair is sared and that goes beyond the presence of it. As I'm sure you know there are many who report phantom pains after the amputation of a limb. Even those who doubt it and poo, poo'ed the notion before undergoing such surgery are shocked or even confused and ashamed when they too admit to suffering pain in the region of a limb that is no longer present. Why? Because you can cut away the physical, but it does not automatically do away with the etheric/spiritual counterpart. While I shave all my hair off from time to time, that is not to say I respect my natural any less, for its etheric counterpart still remains and holds as much potency for me as does the physical.
Like my spirituality, my hair is something I do not share with just anyone, as its meaning to me is personal. If I am to let someone touch my hair, I'm very wary as to who it is and the energy of that person. Do not touch my hair in anger, even if done gently, I would be as offended as if you had just slapped my face. Bearing this in mind, imagine how I feel when I'm out walking whilst sporting an afro and some random bod reaches out to grab a quick feel? Knowing how I am when it comes to my hair, my short peeps asked me what I would do in this scenario an couldn't stop laughing at the way my jaw dropped in horror at the prospect.
I'm always quick to deflect or dodge this attempts to finger my 'fro, but I was caught off guard once several years ago now. I was as work and a colleague came up behind me and grabbed my hair and started massaging her fingers through it! THE NERVE!!! I was so shocked, that thankfully I was paralysed long enough to overide the reflexive action of my hand drawing back to slap the taste out of her mouth. I found myself gasping for breath at the surge of energy that transfered through her hand and into my head, but because of it recognised that she meant no malice. Evenso I had to asked to be excused from my post so I could and run to the bathroom to recompose myself. Whilst in there, I found myself repeating the word 'Why?' for a straight minute. I was thorougly confused, moreso because it was a black woman! If she were a man I would have felt even more violated, and probably would have followed through with my intent to bitch slap, regardless of the consequences. As it happens, my mortification saved us both, but to this day I wonder why would anyone do such a thing? If my hair was straighted and carefully styled, would it be okay to thrust your hand into it and ruffle it without regard? If I was white, would it be okay to creep up behind me, grab my hair and rumage as though I were an inanimate mannequin?
I may sound like I'm over-reacting, but ladies, have you ever found yourself refering to a hairdresser as having, 'hands that are good for my hair' or telling others how, 'my hair grows well when he/she does it'? Well many a time we ignore the fact that the primary reason for this is more about the energy of that person, than the products they are using, or their level of skill. Ever had a person that was in a bad mood do your hair? How did it feel? With some people who care for your hair, it breaks right? And you don't go back to them because something was off even though everything they did seemed professional and meticulous. Well if you are well attuned to your hair, the sensitivity to others who put their hand in it can be overwhelming.
What people don't seem to get is that grabbing my hair is as intimate as having groped my breasts or my butt. YOU DON'T DO IT, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! As far as I am concerned, if touched without my permission or by a non-family member who is innocently picking fluff out of it, it is a beat down offense.
Even when in a relationship, a sure fire way of testing just how much I am feeling you, is to try to touch my hair. If I recoil or slap away your advance, you are far from being a permanent fixture in my life. If I allow it and even smile when you do, if I'm not already in love, the potential undoubtedly exist for it to happen in due time.
When dealing with a natural sister, though her relationship with her hair may be totally different to mine, the general rule of thumb is to seek permission first, and don't be offended if the answer is no!
After challenging myself to the completion of 6 tasks in order to force myself out of this slump, I'm pleased to report I achieved 5 out of the 6. I know, I know, I was supposed to do all of them, and as it happens I completed 3.5 of them yesterday. The .5 was my managing to update my myspace profile: Myspace.com/TosinCoker, but not my personal site. Believe me, it wasn't for lack of trying! I was up til past 3am battling with it. Yes I do webdesign, but I've never learnt about flash, well guess what my site is? Yup FLASH! How I managed to get it up and running in the first place, only heaven knows. I had been dreading performing long overdue updates for the simple reason that it would require me to edit .swf files that I am clueless about. See but here is where my stubborn nature is a good thing. I was not about to be defeated, and after challenging myself, it was time to woman up! Huh, 5 hours later, I was close to tears, but more from the possibility of having to admit defeat. I was close to having my geek status revoked, I felt the pressure of my quadcore mothership computer and her blue neon lights that I swear was blinking binary abuse. She had suddenly become too much machine for me to handle I was fast descending into abysmal realm of computer illiterates.... Noooooooooooo!!! Whoa, I was having a flashback, my bad. Back to the point. So I finally carried my ass to bed and even denied myself watching an episode of One Piece (anime series) for good measure. I deserved to be flogged with a cat 5 cable, I was thoroughly gutted and sulked till I fell asleep.
But never fear, there was a twist to this sad story! A true geek dreams such equations, and this is exactly what I did (in between dreams of paying for that fricking parking ticket) and by the morning I felt a renewed sense of hope. A short time after I sat back in front of the 22inch screen of The Mothership, I began to see it. Suddenly what seemed damn near impossible only a few hours before became as clear as day. I even surprised myself with all I managed to achieve. I keep going back to the site and smiling. Yup I can finally stop sending peeps to everywhere but my site: N9NEFORMATION.COM!! Wooohhhh!!!!
As for the video:
I've designed my media kit, now I just gotta fill it and attach a downloadable link on my site (cuz now I know how to do that see). I did go for the walk, and damn near felt like I was fit to collapse. I guess I'm not strong enough to exert myself just yet. Baby steps - literally.
The only thing I didn't do was the 3 chapters. If not for how many hours I spent on the site I'm sure I could have completed that also, but I care not, I'm extremely overjoyed for all I did manage to complete. How could I feel bad when I exceeded my own expectations. The reality is, my site/myspace profile had been bugging me for a few months now. If anything they were my top priority as this is the first impression that peeps looking me up will receive. The 3 chapters were more of a bonus. Not bad for 48 hours eh?
On and off since October last year I have been suffering sickle cell crisis and little by little it has had me slow my usual pace to a complete halt. Throughout December, the pain was unfathomable and I wound up in hospital for a couple days. When I finally got over that I had some kinda mutant flu that was the worst I had ever experienced in my life and that too kept me in bed. By the time I got over that, guess what? Another fricking hospital level crisis! This time I refused to succumb and did everything from meditative breathing to popping mad pills and covering myself in so much deep heat rub, my whole bedroom seemed to emanate menthol. The thing about having a crisis is, its not just the pain that takes you down, its the time it takes for your body to recover from the whole ordeal, especially if you have to resort to taking potent dosages of pain relief. So during this period, I have been unable to move much, in fact I was stuck upstairs because I simply couldn't get up and down them. Within the space of 3 months, I became... *sigh* a bum! I did naught, but watch back to back anime and sci-fi. I couldn't even read because my head was so bleary for the pain and the side-effects of the meds that was supposed to suppress it. Yup, 1st class BUM!
We are now coming to the end of January and the worst of the pain is over. My knees seem to be in permanent crisis, but I've just had to convince myself that its now just a part of life like my menstrual cycle, and I don't pop pills for that. So live is pretty much getting back to normal, except somewhere along the line I've gone and lost my mojo. Bum mode is all I know now. Motivation, inspiration, passion, who the hell gave the triad permission to abscond and not even give me advance warning? Well, that don't sit well with me. No Sir! Today I'm hauling their bad asses back. Today my year begins with me getting back to me. Over the next 48 hours, me and my stubborn, determined, 'I know you didn't just tell me I couldn't do it' self will be completing the following tasks:
1) Write in my blog (you're reading it now)
2) Put up a new video (I uploaded one yesterday, but I'm gonna put up one today too)
3) Update a couple of my sites (myspace, n9neformation.com are the priorities)
4) Write at least three chapters (this should be interesting)
5) Design my media kit (looooong overdue that I got that finished)
6) Go for a meditation walk. (yup, I will brace the harsh London cold, pray for me)
Updates for the completion of each task will be posted on my facebook page.
Tosin Coker, time to git yo ass up, and remember how to BE!!!!
If you don't know by now that I have sickle cell - well I what can I say, my PR skills must need some serious refining, but that's besides the point. I'm taking a short break from writing my book's sequel, to focus on another project, and to do it I'm going to need the help of everyone who has sickle cell, and those who have assisted them when in a sickle cell crisis.
I want to put together a handbook for and by sickle cell patients that will allow collective knowledge to be shared on how to cope with a sickle cell crisis. The blood disorder is so diverse that two people can have completely different responses and what works for one may not work for another. My hope is to put together information of what works, things to avoid, preventative measures etc.
For those who are already having a hissy fit over if I will be earning money from this (cuz lets face it, my people tend to get pissed when someone profits, from a venture like this), I will put all the work into editing, formatting and publishing, but the result will be put in e-book form available for free download by all. If there is enough of a demand, I will make it available on in paperback form at cost price through a medium such as createspace.com or lulu.com
We can wait forever for treatment that has never much been a priority, or we can use the power of 'each one, teach one' to learn from each other.
Through the e-book I will be able to incorporate hyperlinks, so if anyone submitting information would like to have a link to their website included please submit it with your tip/advice/method.
Submissions MUST include:
Name
Age
Sickle Cell type (trait/SC/SD/SS)
Gender
Location
Optional information:
For women - If you have given birth and if so, how many children
Link to web site/page/video
Short bio (no more than 200 words)
If the above is not included, your submission will simply be attributed as being annonymous. I have requested that gender be included, because I believe that advice given by men in regards to issues not suffered by women (eg priapism) and vice versa (eg childbirth) would hopefully be recieved better.
From what I have found over the years, despite what is written in text books, people with trait CAN suffer with crisis also. I'm nterested in hearing from hearing from you too.
This is going to be a big enough job as it is, so I will not be chasing anyone up for anything and submissions that arrive after the deadline, even if only a by a day, will not be included period. I really want to do this in collaboration with peeps with sickle cell worldwide, so please, let's make it happen.
Submissions to be sent to n9neformation @ gmail.com End date: Feb 12th 2010 No exceptions.
It makes a change my announcing the radio show topic so far in advance right? Well one of the most common responses I get from those who have read my book is, "I need to ask some questions about what I read". If not in person, I get this or similar through one or another of my social media outlets from messages on YouTube, to sms messages on my phone. Well, I guess the radio show is a good a place as any for anyone who wants to have questions answered. Some of them will be answered in the sequels, others I have left readers to figure out on their own. For those who can't wait, this show will be for you!
The show will be airing on January 10th 2010 giving time for people to think of what they want to ask and email them ahead of time to guarantee having questions answered.
During this show I will also reveal facts about the book, some of which are known only to a select few and others that not even they know of ;)
Questions can be asked by replying to this post or by emailing them to the show's address: nubianscribes@gmail.com The latter is advised for those who prefer to remain anonymous (please put 'anon question' in the subject heading if this is applicable to you).
Please note that I do not respond to personally to emails to the above address!
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