Oi! Hand's Off The 'fro!!!

As a woman who has natural hair, there are times that I like to wear it in the style of an afro. This happens to be one of my favourite ways of styling it, but unfortunately I don't do it that often, mainly because the weather in London is so miserable, and for some reason seems to attract rain even when not forecasted. I don't know, i seem to have the same problem when I wear all white too, but I digress. The thing that some fail to realize, is that to many of us who are naturals, our hair is not just a statement, regarded it is a divine soul connection. Our hair performs as an antenna, amplifiying varying forms of energy, including light and soundwaves. It is statement of consciousness that goes beyond the physical. My hair to me is the manifestation of my spirituality. Sure it's not the same for all of those who wear their hair natural, perhaps for many it is a cultural statement, or simply a preferred alternative to chemical processing - who knows, I'm sure the reasons are as vast as the styles we can adorn.

For me my hair is sared and that goes beyond the presence of it. As I'm sure you know there are many who report phantom pains after the amputation of a limb. Even those who doubt it and poo, poo'ed the notion before undergoing such surgery are shocked or even confused and ashamed when they too admit to suffering pain in the region of a limb that is no longer present. Why? Because you can cut away the physical, but it does not automatically do away with the etheric/spiritual counterpart. While I shave all my hair off from time to time, that is not to say I respect my natural any less, for its etheric counterpart still remains and holds as much potency for me as does the physical.

Like my spirituality, my hair is something I do not share with just anyone, as its meaning to me is personal. If I am to let someone touch my hair, I'm very wary as to who it is and the energy of that person. Do not touch my hair in anger, even if done gently, I would be as offended as if you had just slapped my face. Bearing this in mind, imagine how I feel when I'm out walking whilst sporting an afro and some random bod reaches out to grab a quick feel? Knowing how I am when it comes to my hair, my short peeps asked me what I would do in this scenario an couldn't stop laughing at the way my jaw dropped in horror at the prospect.

I'm always quick to deflect or dodge this attempts to finger my 'fro, but I was caught off guard once several years ago now. I was as work and a colleague came up behind me and grabbed my hair and started massaging her fingers through it! THE NERVE!!! I was so shocked, that thankfully I was paralysed long enough to overide the reflexive action of my hand drawing back to slap the taste out of her mouth. I found myself gasping for breath at the surge of energy that transfered through her hand and into my head, but because of it recognised that she meant no malice. Evenso I had to asked to be excused from my post so I could and run to the bathroom to recompose myself. Whilst in there, I found myself repeating the word 'Why?' for a straight minute. I was thorougly confused, moreso because it was a black woman! If she were a man I would have felt even more violated, and probably would have followed through with my intent to bitch slap, regardless of the consequences. As it happens, my mortification saved us both, but to this day I wonder why would anyone do such a thing? If my hair was straighted and carefully styled, would it be okay to thrust your hand into it and ruffle it without regard? If I was white, would it be okay to creep up behind me, grab my hair and rumage as though I were an inanimate mannequin?

I may sound like I'm over-reacting, but ladies, have you ever found yourself refering to a hairdresser as having, 'hands that are good for my hair' or telling others how, 'my hair grows well when he/she does it'? Well many a time we ignore the fact that the primary reason for this is more about the energy of that person, than the products they are using, or their level of skill. Ever had a person that was in a bad mood do your hair? How did it feel? With some people who care for your hair, it breaks right? And you don't go back to them because something was off even though everything they did seemed professional and meticulous. Well if you are well attuned to your hair, the sensitivity to others who put their hand in it can be overwhelming.

What people don't seem to get is that grabbing my hair is as intimate as having groped my breasts or my butt. YOU DON'T DO IT, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! As far as I am concerned, if touched without my permission or by a non-family member who is innocently picking fluff out of it, it is a beat down offense.

Even when in a relationship, a sure fire way of testing just how much I am feeling you, is to try to touch my hair. If I recoil or slap away your advance, you are far from being a permanent fixture in my life. If I allow it and even smile when you do, if I'm not already in love, the potential undoubtedly exist for it to happen in due time.

When dealing with a natural sister, though her relationship with her hair may be totally different to mine, the general rule of thumb is to seek permission first, and don't be offended if the answer is no!